Separated Man Seeking A Bed Warmer!?!?

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I recently met a Latina man who said he and his wife of 15 years are separated and getting a divorce. He said they knew within a year that they weren’t right for each other. When I asked how union that is about to unravel came about, he said he was living in the US and went on vacation to visit in cousin in Puerto Rico where he met her. They are from the same Latin American country and it appeared they would get along. He said they fell in “lust” and she was coming to the US to visit him and he was going to Puerto Rico to visit her and that got to be very expensive, so they decided that the cheapest way to keep the relationship going was to get married.


They got married two months after meeting and she got pregnant two months later and had a son. He said their relationship started off rocky but they were determined to work hard at it. He said after the first year it was obvious that they weren’t suited for each other and they thought about going their separate ways, but I guess their youthful naïveté made them think they could work through their very glaring differences, which they tried hard to do. He said during their financially prosperous years they were able to stand each other more, but when the going got tough, they both didn’t want to be together.

So now, 15 years later, they are back at square one where they were after a few months of marriage with both wanting to go their separate way. The only difference is that now they have a lot more physical and psychological baggage in tow and they are now back in circulation looking for people to have relationships with. The good news is that they are both parenting their 15 year old son separately. However, it’s needless to say that what they put themselves through will affect them and their future relationships unless they receive some serious counseling, which I doubt that they will do.

The worse thing about this situation is that the man is back in circulation and looking to hook up with ladies just based on his lust like he did with his about to be ex-wife. He says he believes if two adults like each other they should start sleeping together, so in other words he is looking for a bed warmer to satisfy his sexual urges. I guess that’s to be expected since he is a man with physical sexual needs. However, I would think it’s best for him to reconsider his stance because that’s what got him into this mess in the first place. It appears that he hasn’t learned his lesson that “lust” is not “love” and only true love keeps a relationship together long term.

The bible says in 1st Corinthians 7:9, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Obviously, this man can't control himself and he is burning with passion and instead of him to look for someone to marry, like many men these days, he is "just looking for a place to put it." Women watch out for men like this as they are only looking for women to warm their beds. They are not looking for relationships and unless you are looking for the same thing, don’t warm their beds. If you do, you will just feel used and you should be glad if that's all you feel by the time they are done with you because if you are not careful you may be left with an unwanted child or even something worse. Let men like this go and visit prostitutes who get paid for their services. If you don’t, you will just be damaged as they go about their escapades.

I’m sharing this story to let people know that if something doesn’t fit, don’t force it. If you force it in the beginning it won’t last long term and at the very you will least incur psychological damage in the process. Their situation also shows that time will always tell if a couple can make a marriage work no matter how “picture perfect” and good they look together or how sexually compatible they are, which are often what many unwise people base their relationships on.

A word is enough for the wise…